


Crystallize

by Requ (Etude)



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/F, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:37:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etude/pseuds/Requ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Elsa grew up truly alone without her parents and Anna? Some things don't change, though: Elsa's still cooped up in her room and needs someone to drag her out of it. AU with some elements of Assassin's Creed. Warning: Elsanna, incest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dinner was especially bland tonight. Elsa had picked at the poached fish, her appetite nowhere to be found. It seemed like the days were getting longer and harder to endure. And it was mind-numbing to stay in her room all day, never venturing out for even the smallest things, but it was for the best. It was safe, for everyone, that she stayed. 

The dinner tray was left by her door. A servant would take it back to the kitchens and doubtlessly inform the prince regent that she wasn’t eating again. Then she’d have to endure another visit from Hans about how she needed to take of herself, it was her duty to Arendelle and her people and she had to honor her sister’s memory and for God’s sake, at least stay alive. It would be tedious, but she would put up with it. She doubted it would be the last. 

The next day, Hans knocked on her door as expected. She considered not answering it, but he would get insistent and start talking in that irritatingly placating and disappointed tone that she disliked even more.

“Your majesty, it’s me. If I may come in?” Like she had anything else to do, but she didn’t say that out loud. 

“You may.” She was sitting at her desk, book facedown on her lap, her body turning to face Hans. “Good morning. How does your day fare?”

Hans bowed. “Thank you, your majesty, for your concern. I’m finding the day agreeable.” He looked at her covered breakfast, knowing she hadn’t eaten, but his manners still made him ask. “Was breakfast not to your liking?”

She had no idea what breakfast was since she hadn’t even bothered to remove the cover. “My appetite isn’t there, I’m afraid. I’ll try once again during lunch,” she lied, presenting a dismissive smile and hoping he would go away. 

Of course, he didn’t. Hans lifted the cover and frowned down at it in faint disapproval. “Your majesty, your health is of the utmost importance. You must eat. The kingdom--”

She stifled a sigh, but defiance only made Hans even more persistent. All she wanted was to be left alone, not be lectured to. So instead of ordering him out of her room, she picked up a piece of toast and bit off a piece. It was cold and soggy, but she forced it down. Hans looked pleased. 

“Happy?” She said, her demure smile not quite hiding the sarcasm.

Hans didn’t notice it and was already eyeing the door for his escape. “Promise me you’ll eat at least something every meal? I want to see you well, your majesty.” 

“Of course,” Elsa lied again. 

“Wonderful,” he said, giving her an absent smile. “Was there anything else you needed?”

A muscle under her eye twitched. As though she had needed him to come into her room uninvited to talk to her like some recalcitrant child to be disciplined. She realized the track her thoughts were following and took a deep breath. 

“A few more books from the library would be lovely,” she said with the same sedate smile. Without looking down she already knew the book on her lap was half frozen despite the gloves. She hoped it was just the early chapters. She was only halfway through.

“Of course, I’ll have a maid fetch a few. Remember to eat.” Hans bowed and left. 

Elsa looked down. The later half was frozen solid. She sighed. 

An hour later, there was another knock on her door. Still irritated from the loss of the book, Elsa snapped out permission.

A young girl came through the door with a bundle in her arms. She walked in confidently, not cautiously like the others, as though they were being led into a dungeon. Which wasn’t all that inaccurate, to be perfectly truthful. 

“Your majesty,” she said in a country girl’s accent, and bobbed a curtsy. “His highness bid you a fine morn and asked that I bring these from the library.”

Hans never ordered the servants to deliver pleasantries--the man only thought of those when he was before someone, so Elsa narrowed her eyes suspiciously. 

“Where should I place these, your majesty?” The girl asked, her eyes lowered respectfully. 

“Here.” Elsa tapped her finger on the empty space of her desk. 

The maid deposited the books and bent to pick up the food tray beside the desk. Elsa studied her. A cap covered her dark hair, but she could see that it was braided into a neat bun. Her complexion was pale and and unblemished. The girl’s eyes were blue, but that was a common enough feature in Arendelle. Her features were unremarkable, ordinary even, until Elsa realized the maid was staring right back at her.

For some reason, she felt a flicker of embarrassment for being caught looking so openly. Which was ridiculous because she was the queen, for god’s sake, and granted she wasn’t normally so rude if Hans hadn’t ruined her morning and her book so thoroughly--

“You haven’t finished your breakfast,” the maid murmured. Her blue eyes blinked innocently back at Elsa, as though she knew exactly what Elsa was doing. Elsa flushed faintly. “It’s gone dreadfully cold. Shall I have the cook warm up another plate for you?” 

Unnerved, Elsa jerked her head in a parody of a shake. “No. That won’t be necessary.” Her fingers tensed in her lap, the leather of the gloves straining. The room got colder, but the maid didn’t seem to notice. 

“My name is Anna,” the maid said.

Elsa looked at her sharply, a scowl forming. “What did you say?”

“My name,” Anna-the-maid said blandly. She had the audacity to raise her brows. “His highness has assigned me to attend to you, your majesty. I hope to serve you to your satisfaction.” Elsa thought she heard the briefest hint of suggestion on the last word, but she couldn’t tell. How could she? She’d spent the past thirteen years in a single room. 

Tactlessly, she changed the subject and looked at the tray. “Are you going to tell him?”

Anna gave her a small smile. Of course she would know what she meant. “Would you like me to?”

“Do I have a choice?” She sounded more bitter than she’d meant to, but at that moment she didn’t care what the girl reported back to Hans.

“You always have a choice,” Anna said softly. Elsa picked up a book and began to read. 

The maid at least knew what a dismissal was. The door had just closed quietly after her when Elsa realized the blasted thing was upside down. 

\---

Hans never appeared to harass her at dinner, so the maid apparently decided not to say anything. Elsa wasn’t sure how to feel about that, so she picked at her food again, then stared out the window. 

Winter was coming. She could feel it in her bones, see it in the shorter days, the dryer air. There was a fire banked high in the fireplace, but she didn’t know why the servants bothered. She’d told them before not to waste the firewood, but someone always came in to tend to it, then quietly slip out. 

She hoped the winter would end quickly. It always made her itch to be outside, to open her hands and feel the snow and wind on her palms and cheeks. Winter beckoned to her seductively with its howls and storms and sheer beauty. It was getting harder every year to resist it. 

Anna appeared the next morning with breakfast. 

“Good morning, your majesty,” she said. She placed the tray down and lifted the cover. Elsa looked down and saw French toast and an arrangement of sliced apples. She hadn’t had French toast in years. 

She shot a questioning look at Anna and was met with another innocent look. She hadn’t thought Hans’s cook even knew how to make French toast. The first bite was heavenly and she barely stifled a soft groan of happiness. 

By the time she was done, the entire plate had been cleaned. 

“Was that to your satisfaction?” Anna asked with a hint of impishness. She’d stood by watching and Elsa couldn’t have cared if the entire kingdom were present. 

The queen eyed the girl for a long time. Most would have quailed, but Anna looked back at her and Elsa finally smiled. “Yes. Thank you. My compliments to the cook.”

Anna grinned back. “That would be my dear mama. I’ll tell her she’s pleased the queen.”

“Your mother works in the castle?”

“No, but this is her recipe.” Anna gathered up the tray. “Would you like anything else, your majesty?”

Yes, she wanted to say. She wanted to tell her to stay, to talk to her about anything. It didn’t matter. But as soon as the desire welled up inside her, Elsa stifled it. Ridiculous. A good meal did not constitute a friendship and the girl was a maid. She was hired to make sure Elsa didn’t starve to death and did what the Hans wanted her to and Elsa was clearly losing her mind if she was arguing with herself. 

“No.”

Anna curtsied and left and Elsa stared out the window and wondered when winter had arrived. 

\---

The next few days passed much like the same. Anna appeared in her room at every meal and Elsa ate when she could. The French toast didn’t appear again and she was sorry for it. It was the first decent meal she’d had in a long time. 

One day, Anna asked if she could braid her hair. 

“What?” Elsa was taken aback. She always braided her own hair because the servants were terrified of getting too close to her. Anna didn’t seem to share their opinions for some reason and Elsa thought maybe she ought to disabuse her of this notion.

“Your hair,” Anna repeated. “It’s very thick. I imagine it takes a long time to brush. Would you like me to?”

Elsa could only gape. 

“Most maids do brush and style hair for their mistresses,” Anna added, her expression faintly amused. “I’m told I’m quite skilled.”

“You’re… you’re not afraid?” Her voice was tentative. “You surely know…”

“I’ve heard the rumors, yes.” Anna’s eyes watched Elsa intently, a hint of challenge in the set of her jaw, the angle of her head. “Are you going to freeze me to death as well?”

“And if I do?” Elsa said, finally finding her voice. “What of your family? The wages you bring in for them?”

She shrugged. “They’ll be all right. My parents are taken care of and I’ve a brother who’s done well for himself. You don’t have to worry about them, your majesty.” She looked expectantly at chair in front of the mirror and dresser. 

Before she knew what she was doing, Elsa was seated and Anna’s warm hands were pulling out the hairpins. She had nowhere to look but the mirror. The maid was focused on freeing her blonde tresses, but she knew that she was watching her. Occasionally, Anna’s hand would brush ever so slightly against her nape or her ear and Elsa would have to suppress shivers and twitches. The entire experience was nerve-wracking. 

“You’re tense, your majesty,” Anna murmured. Their eyes met in the mirror. Elsa’s hair spilled over her shoulders and down her back. It felt warm, but she wasn’t sure if that was because Anna had been touching it or because her own skin was warm. “Relax.”

Elsa could not relax, not on order. As Anna began to brush her hair in long, easy strokes, her belly began to feel even more jumpy and her clasped hands became more like fists. Anna’s breath began to fog. 

“I have an older brother,” Anna said suddenly. 

“Oh?” Elsa was inexplicably riveted. “You said… he was doing well for himself?”

“That’s right, your majesty.” Anna’s hands were gentle. “He’s a head groomsman. Lovely with horses and the like. He works for a good lord who pays and treats him well.”

“That sounds good,” Elsa said. She had no idea what else to say. A lifetime of solitude had not endowed her the gift of small talk and she didn’t know how to act around this girl who didn’t fear or revile her. Hans must be paying her well, she thought, then immediately quashed that thought. What did it matter if the girl was a spy? She had nothing to hide and Hans could hire an entire battalion of mysterious maids to watch her if he was so inclined.

“Do you have any other siblings?”

Anna hummed and shook her head. “Just my brother. I have a lot of cousins, though.”

“Would you tell me about them?” Elsa heard herself ask. Anna paused. “Please,” she added. 

The maid obliged her. Elsa wasn’t sure what happened, but time seemed to slow as Anna brushed and talked about her numerous cousins, their ages and names, exploits and mistakes. And for the first time in years, her heart ached with longing. This was what having a family was like. She was nothing but Queen Elsa, the last of the Arendelle line. And it was by her own hand. 

She looked up at the mirror when she saw Anna’s hand cross her vision to place the brush on the dresser. 

“How do you like it?”

Shocked, Elsa touched a hand to the single braid upon her shoulder. Locks of pale blonde draped down to frame her face. It didn’t look neat and ordered like her bun had, but almost sensual, wild, even. She looked…

“Beautiful,” Anna said with a triumphant little smirk. “I think you look very beautiful, your majesty.”

Elsa managed a weak smile. “Thank you, Anna. You were right. You are very talented.” She returned her gaze to the mirror, still amazed at the woman who looked back. It wasn’t just the way her hair was styled. Every morning when she tied her hair it was always a grim and haunted face who she saw. Someone who didn’t sleep enough, didn’t eat enough, who was only surviving. She looked… almost happy now. Comfortable, even, with her hands loose on her lap. And she knew the source of that was this maid who wasn’t afraid of her. 

“I hope you’ll wear your hair like this in the future, your majesty,” Anna said. 

“Elsa.” She turned to face Anna, smiling slightly. Butterflies in her stomach, but she hid that well. “You may address me as Elsa, Anna.”

The maid’s lips parted, but she smiled back. “Of course… Elsa.”

\---

 

Winter was tugging at her harder. Sometimes she looked at her window and wondered how hard she’d have to hit it to break the glass. Would her bare fist do it? Perhaps a hurled book? Her jewellery box? The glass did look sturdy. Perhaps the little chair by the dresser. 

Her thoughts were getting more dangerous and she knew better than to say such things out loud. Not even to Anna. Their conversations, while usually easy, never veered into things that were best left unmentioned.

“Why did you decide to work in the palace, Anna?” Elsa asked. It’d been two days since Anna had first brushed her hair. It was dinner and Anna had brought up Elsa’s tray and only a bread roll for herself.

“Who doesn’t want to work in the royal palace?” Anna replied with a quick smile. Elsa smiled back, but knew an evasion when she saw one. 

“It’s just that I’ve never had a maid dedicated to me before,” Elsa pressed. “Nor have I ever mentioned to Hans that I wanted one. I was wondering why the sudden change.”

The brunette shrugged. “I could not say why his highness assigned me the way he did. I came here to ask for work, the housekeeper looked over my references, and told me what my station was. I did not know I’d be waiting on the queen herself,” she added, her lips quirking into a charming smile. 

Elsa returned the smile, feeling warmth spread over her body. But she also felt that something was missing. Something that Anna was not telling her, but how could she? Hans was the only who had the last say over who was allowed in the castle, barring Elsa actually emerging from her room to order everybody about. She doubted anybody would listen to her anyway; only a select few servants were actually in regular contact with her. 

She realized she’d almost finished her dinner. Her appetite must be improving, but talking to Anna while eating seemed to at least trick herself into eating, regardless of whether she was hungry or not. Talking to Anna had a way of making the time pass. Or maybe it was just social contact in general. Regardless, she didn’t want the evening to end so soon, so she offered to do something she hadn’t done in a very long time.

“Would you like me to read you a story?”

Anna’s bread roll froze in mid-bite. She looked just as shocked as Elsa. 

Elsa’s cheeks felt shamefully warm. She could hardly believe what just came out of her mouth. But it’d come out and she had to finish the job. Clearing her throat, she gestured to the pile of books in the corner. “I have a few you may like.” She wasn’t sure if Anna could read, but she suspected not since few common-born women were literate. 

Anna was quiet, her face unreadable. 

“I understand if you have other duties to attend to,” Elsa began, rejection forming a hard lump in her throat. “I’m sorry for the presumption.”

“Your majesty--Elsa,” Anna corrected. “I was--I mean, I would love to--I would to hear you read a story.” Neither of them could seem to meet eyes, but Elsa was too relieved and happy to dwell on it. She quickly began rummaging through the growing collection, tossing out titles and names in offering. 

“I’m sure you’d enjoy fiction so how about a play? Shakespeare, perhaps? Oh, I’m not sure how familiar you are with that, what about, ah, let’s see…”

“Fairy tales would suit,” Anna said, sounding amused from her position somewhere behind Elsa. Her cheeks burned hotter, but she kept her back to Anna. She found a copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. She flipped open the leather-bound volume, trying to delay having to look up at Anna.

“Was there a specific tale you wanted to hear?”

“Hansel and Gretel.” There was something in her voice that made Elsa look up. Anna was seated on the bed, hands folded sedately in her lap. Her expression was neutral except for a faint light of interest. Shaking her head, Elsa returned to the book and found the right chapter. 

“Is this a story you’ve heard before?”

“Only once. What about you?”

“I’m afraid I’m not very fond of fairy tales,” Elsa confessed. “I know the general plot of them. Many of these are quite dark. Are you sure this is what you want?”

Anna nodded. 

Elsa sat as close as she dared on the bed and began to read. 

"I've always wondered why the witch had to eat children," Anna said after Elsa was done. "If she could make a gingerbread house, she could have gotten food in other ways."

"The villains in tales often have unexplained reasons." Elsa stole a glance at Anna. The maid's fingers were laced together a slim ankle, heel resting on the bedding, her cheek pressed to her raised knee. The fire was throwing a warm light from behind Anna, casting her face in shifting shadows, but her eyes looked soft. Her eyes fell on Anna's lips. She wasn't smiling, but she looked... content. 

A tongue flicked out to wet her lips. Entranced, the queen could only stare in mute fascination.

"Thank you for the story," Anna whispered. With great regret, Elsa tore her eyes away and nodded stiffly.

"You're welcome." There was an uncomfortable silence. Something had shifted during the reading, changed into something new and terrifying and maybe even wonderful, but Elsa was never good at discerning what she felt because emotions always led to violent endings. She couldn't bear such a thing for Anna. So best to say nothing, pretend it was nothing and to keep the girl safe.

Then why had she read to her? Why had she invited her to stay far longer than necessary?

Because she was an idiot, Elsa decided. She was lonely and a fool and if Anna got much closer, well, she knew what would happen just like before--

"Elsa," Anna whispered, touching her hand and interrupting every thought in its tracks.Her mind went completely blank, like fresh fallen snow. Anna laid her hand over hers. She could feel the heat of it through the leather and up her arm and all over her body. She'd never felt so warm before. “Are you happy here?”

Her brows scrunched in confusion. “I’m not sure what you mean.” But she could say that at this very moment was the closest she’d ever felt to feeling happy in spite of her internal conflict. 

“Are you happy here in the castle? Spending the days reading?” The question was innocuous enough, she supposed, especially the nonchalant way Anna asked it. But she sensed the question matter a great deal to her, so she took her time in answering it.

“I think I am not… unhappy,” she started. “Staying here, reading books from the library, is not unpleasant. I admit that it does get boring at times, but it is what it is. I could not leave even if I wanted.”

“That’s not true. You always have a choice, Elsa.” 

“If you’re referring to my leaving my chambers to explore the rest of the palace--”

“No,” Anna interrupted, her expression serious. “That’s not what I meant.” 

And they both knew what she meant. All the warmth left her like it’d never been there and suddenly, Elsa was so very angry at her for making them speak of this. 

She smiled bitterly. “No, I don’t have a choice, Anna. Not if I want to keep from hurting people. Haven’t you heard? I’m the reason why I’m the last of the royal line of Arendelle.” She met Anna’s eyes with her own, unflinching. “I killed my entire family.”

To her credit she didn’t look shocked, so she’d known. Still, the warmth that had filled her was gone and replaced with jagged ice. “Then why are you here?”

“As opposed to being hanged for my crimes?” Elsa sneered faintly, her disgust evident. “Because I’m the queen. Because There are none left who can sit the throne and I am needed. Even when I don’t deserve to. I’m not allowed to be punished, but nor am I allowed freedom or else I may kill more. Ice,” she hissed, “can kill in more ways than the cold.”

Rising, she wrapped her hands around her elbows and turned her back on Anna. The room was getting cold and the fire would be snuffed out no matter how much wood was fed. “You should go.” 

Anna got to her feet and looked at Elsa’s back. The queen could feel her gaze. “My master,” she said slowly, “is his highness, the prince regent.”

Elsa whirled, temper flaring. It was like nothing she’d ever felt, such a flash of emotion that filled her throat with vicious oaths, made her heart pound a quick tempo in time with the pulsing fury that filled her mind and colored her vision red. The room dropped to dangerously low temperatures as the queen glared coldly at the impertinence of this maid that dared defied her. 

“How dare you,” Elsa hissed. “I could kill you where you stand after all that I told you--”

“You’re not the first highborn to get away with murder,” Anna said, her chin tilting in defiance. “You may be the queen, but it’s the prince regent who holds the real power in Arendelle. It’s been months since you came of age, since your coronation, but he’s still here. Why’s that? Too afraid to show your face to your own people?”

Elsa did something she’d never done before. She crossed the short distance to Anna, her hand grabbing the collar of her dress and yanked the shorter girl up to nearly her toes until they were face to face. Her other hand was raised, palm up and glowing faint blue, ready to strike. 

The maid’s face was impassive. “Go ahead,” she said, angling her head back to bare her throat. “Kill me. You’re right, you’d get away with it. The prince regent would probably clean this little mess up, then hire another maid just like me. Maybe you’ll kill that one, too, if your majesty is so inclined.” There was the faintest inflection of derision at the royal address. “You’ll feel guilty about it, but you have no idea how much blood you have on your hands already.”

Through the red haze clouding her mind, she latched onto the words Anna was saying. Her hands lowered. “What are you talking about?” She said harshly. 

Anna straightened her collar, her movements unhurried and smooth like her life had never been in danger. “How many people have died, you think, since the prince regent came to power?” Her expression was placid. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’ll be clearer, then. How many people do you think Prince Hans has killed to consolidate his power? How many do you think have perished because he’s shipped Arendelle’s supplies to support one of his brothers in the Southern Isles civil war?” Anna ignored Elsa’s shocked look.

“When he raises taxes to pay for his luxuries and fund the wars of his allies, how many children starve because their fathers couldn’t afford to bring home enough food? How many die in the winter when there isn’t enough to repair their homes or to pay for medicine and a doctor when they’re sick? When their farm animals get sick and die? When the crops they farm are taken and they’re paid a pittance?”

Elsa was shocked speechless. No. This could not… no, it could not be possible. Hans made no mentions of this, nobody ever told her…

That was right. Nobody ever told her because she was a danger. She had to stay in this room, where nobody could come to any harm. But that reason sounded flimsy now, an excuse for a child to hide away. 

Anna wasn’t looking at her in disgust, but the indifference of her smooth face, the lack of any sort of empathy or feeling, made it all the worse. 

“I…” Elsa licked dry lips, feeling so numb and cold. “Is this… is this true? What you’ve told me?”

She jerked her chin towards the door. “Why don’t you go and see for yourself?’

“I--I can’t, I’ll hurt someone--”

“You didn’t hurt me,” Anna said tonelessly. “And I fair goaded you into it.”

Elsa buried her head in her hands. “That doesn’t give me the right to--to hurt you.”

“The prince regent would have thought different.”

Elsa stared at Anna, her jaw slack with horror. “You can’t mean… No. Hans might be an overbearing idiot, but he’s no murderer.”

Anna lifted her brows. “I’m not going to beg for your pardon,” she said. “But you really are a fool. The prince regent might not dirty his own hands if he can help it, but he has plenty of lackeys to do it for him.” She leaned forward, her gaze focused intently on Elsa. “Think. There were originally thirteen legitimate male heirs. You think the other twelve would sit quietly to allow the crown prince to ascend? Why do you think there’s a civil war in the Southern Isles now?”

“But he’s no longer in line for the throne--”

“He doesn’t need to be, not if he stands to gain from supporting the winner.”

She felt rising hysteria. No. She could not accept this. If what Anna said was true, all of this was going on right under her nose. And that would mean she’d been willfully ignorant to it, allowing Hans to go about as he pleased, believing that he was doing what a ruler was supposed to do. 

“No,” she said slowly. “Hans would have told me. I am the queen of Arendelle. He has a duty to guide the kingdom in its best interests.”

“When was the last time he told you about what’s going on in Arendelle, then?” 

Elsa bit her lip. She couldn’t even remember. 

“And when was the last time you showed an interest in Arendelle?” Anna gestured. “Or has this room become the entirety of your world?”

Anna was right. She really was a fool.

“Do you want to get out?” Anna asked, her voice gentle. There might have been sympathy in there, but Elsa couldn’t tell from the crush of horror and guilt bearing down on her. 

“Yes,” she finally said, after sinking into a chair. Her knees felt like rubber. “But I doubt the guards will let me leave.” She looked at Anna, feeling hopeless and lost. “You must hate me.”

“I have every reason to,” Anna agreed. “But I don’t. I don’t hate you.”

The confession eased the weight that Elsa hadn’t known was on her chest. She didn’t hate her. She didn’t hate her. Out of all the people who ought to, one didn’t. Maybe they were both fools.

“I can get you out of the palace. If that’s what you want,” Anna said gently, maybe even with some sympathy.

“How? You’re only a maid,” Elsa said tiredly, feeling utterly drained. “And I’m a figurehead queen being kept in my own seat. The palace is crawling with guards. Hans is… very paranoid. For good reason, apparently.” 

Anna’s lips quirked into a small smile. “But I can get you out. I promise.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been edited somewhat since the original posting; nothing major, just some dialogue tweaks.


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa did not sleep after Anna left. She spent most of the night wracked with shame and guilt, alternating between how she’d attacked the maid and the state of Arendelle, her brain conjuring up hideous images of starving towns and villages, dying people, horrible atrocities…

The window was frosted and opaque, the night moonless and her room equally as dark. She’d long let the candle burn out. Her head was aching from imagining too many things, trying to discredit and validate what Anna said at the same time. It was no good. She had no way of knowing if it was true or not. Not unless she confronted Hans or left the palace and looked herself. 

Neither option was appealing. 

Hans was a liar. He’d never mistreated her when he came to Arendelle, but neither had he ever made an effort to gain her trust. Not that he’d explicitly given her a reason to doubt him, but there was always the niggling sensation at the back of her mind ever since she first met him. Something that made her scrutinize his polished manners, the way his eyes seemed to always be calculating and never particularly kind. It was like watching an actor on stage, she realized. A very skilled one who understood his role and slipped into it like a chameleon. 

She doubted that she knew Hans’s true side, if he had one at all. And she also knew that she would not be surprised at all if he had brutalized Arendelle behind her back. 

In the dark, Elsa sighed, her head dropping to the back of her chair. She felt so tired. Her lids were heavy. She tried to make out the ceiling in the pitch dark. Her last thought was the realization that she was actually looking at the back of her lids before she slipped off. 

_She was in her bed. She knew because she recognized the ceiling above where she'd look at sometimes when Anna was awake and chattering to her. She didn't mind it, though sometimes she was truly tired and the sound of her voice would lull her to sleep. But the room wasn't dark, there was sunlight streaming through the open balcony. It had to be late morning. Why was she still in bed this late? Papa would never allow her to sleep like this and miss her lessons. Someone should have woken her for breakfast._

_Confused, she turned her head to look at Anna's bed across the room. It was empty and neatly made. That was even more unusual. Anna never rose before she did; her younger sister was a night owl and always had to be dragged bodily out of bed, sometimes by the ankles if Elsa felt particularly playful and her sister was particularly obstinate that day. Hearing her sister's surprised squawk as she woke, scrabbling frantically for the duvet to keep from toppling to the floor, never failed to send Elsa into peals of fitful laughter._

_She tried to rise. It took her several moments to realize that her body was not cooperating. Bewildered, she tried to look down at herself, but only saw a blanket covering her abdomen. There was a larger than usual lump where her right arm was. With great effort, she managed to free her left arm--why was this so difficult--and pulled the cover down._

_Her right arm was in a cast. The kind that people wore if they'd broken a bone. She stared dumbly at it. Her mind felt fuzzy, like it was full of cotton. She tried to get up again, managed to lever herself upright with her left arm, and nearly fell back in agony._

_She -hurt-. She'd never hurt so much before. Her belly ached like the time when Anna had tackled her harder than she meant to during a game, only a hundred times worse. She couldn't pull up her nightgown and inspect herself with one hand still supporting herself, but she managed to hunch over to probe at the pain. It felt like a bruise._

_Before she could do more, the door opened and Gerda appeared. She saw Elsa and rushed to her, her round face full of concern. "Your highness, oh heavens, I'm so glad you're up. How do you feel? Would you like me to fetch you a glass of water?"_

_She opened her mouth to ask what happened, but all that emerged was a pitiful croak. Sympathy softened Gerda's voice. "Ah, poor thing, you must hurt so, here." She piled pillows against the headboard and gently lowered Elsa to rest back."I'll get that glass right now, just you wait here, your highness." She left in a quick swish of skirts, her brisk footsteps echoing down the hall._

_Elsa prodded at the cast, still confused. She couldn’t remember what happened. Then she noticed the scrapes and scratches on her other hand. Had she fallen off her pony? She groaned. How embarrassing. And Papa had said she was improving._

_“Here you are, your highness.” Gerda returned with a glass and a pitcher of water. She helped Elsa sit up and held the glass to her parched lips. She drank too quickly and coughed._

_Gerda clucked and patted a soothing hand down her back. “Slowly now, sweet,” she murmured, the endearment making her want to curl into the matron’s warm arms._

_“Whu-what happened?” She rasped. “Hurts.”_

_The housekeeper searched her face before replying. “Do you remember anything, sweet?”_

_Elsa managed to shake her head. Something was tickling her cheek. She lifted her uninjured hand and brushed away a stray lock. She caught her reflection in the mirror and gasped._

_Her hair was an unholy mess. It lay in limp tangles over her shoulders, stiff and matted with dirt. The state of her face was not much better: there was a bruise forming on her cheek and a closed cut over an eyebrow. It was also faintly smudged, as though someone had tried to clean her up. She looked like she’d been mauled by wolves._

_“Oh, dear,” Gerda said, seeing her expression. “I would have cleaned you up better, but the doctor said it was best not to move you until you woke.” Suddenly, she rose up and started fussing about the room, her movements brisk._

_“We ought to draw up a nice hot bath for you, yes, I think that’ll do quite well for you, you must feel so awful, sweet,” Gerda said, her back to Elsa. “You’ve hurt your head, the doctor said, so don’t try to move about much. How is your appetite? Would you like a bite to eat?”_

_For some reason, the way the housekeeper was making her nervous. “Gerda,” Elsa whispered, her throat still parched. “Where is… where is Anna? And Mama and Papa? And what happened to me?”_

_Gerda’s large frame seemed to flinch bodily at the questions. Dread flooded Elsa’s veins, her hands going clammy. She was afraid to hear the answer because something had to be very, very wrong for Gerda to act so. Even though she was only eight, she could sense the palpable anxiety and it only heightened her own._

_“Please,” she finally added. “Please tell me where everybody is.”_

_She faced Elsa, her face turned ashen with grief. Tears spilled down her cheeks._

_Elsa felt it like another punch in the gut. She stopped breathing._

_“They’re gone. The king and queen and the little princess. They’re gone.”_

\---

Elsa didn’t know how quickly the news of the demise of all but the oldest princess of the royal family spread. She was initially confined to her room to recuperate, but had to be moved. She was violently ill every time she caught a glimpse of Anna’s empty bed and the doctor said she couldn’t get better if she kept vomiting everything inside her. 

But the nightmare had only just begun. 

That night was when someone from the royal council came to her and said she’d been found with her family at the side of the road far from the palace. Even their horses had been slain. He was sympathetic, sparing the worst details, but clearly unused to speaking to a child. And he’d asked her questions. 

Why had they been riding out that night? Why had they gone alone and unescorted? When did they leave? Had she seen the attackers? How many were there? Were they men, women?

There was a blackness every time Elsa tried to remember, a gaping hole that stared back at her every time she gazed at it, trying, trying, trying. 

She kept trying until the tears froze on her cheeks and the floor was covered in an inch thick layer of ice. 

The official left in a terrified scurry.

And then the rumors started. Confused servants found her door frozen shut and guards had to come to break them open. Icicles thorned the ceiling and walls. The perpetual cold and gloom frightened the servants and word spread. 

Sometimes she heard it. People said she killed them with the same icy spikes that lined her room. That there were holes in her families bodies, but no weapons found, no crossbow bolts left. And those words haunted her because she didn’t know if it she’d done it. The ice in her room came on their own and she had no control over it. Who was to say she hadn’t done it? 

Who was there to say that she hadn’t killed her parents and Anna? 

The whispers stayed whispers and nothing more. Elsa tried not to think about it. She hardly remembered what happened to her afterwards. Someone said she’d lain in bed for months in a catatonic state until she was forced to sign documents transferring the kingdom to the care of some distant cousin who’d come from the Southern Isles. 

More people came to tell her what had happened, what was going to happen, to stay in her room like a good girl. 

They couldn’t have dragged her out if they’d tried. 

\---

Anna returned the next morning bearing breakfast. Elsa wasn't sure if she was happy to see her or not.

She raised a brow at the dark rings under Elsa's eyes and the disheveled state of her hair. "Couldn't sleep?"

"How could I?" Elsa snapped back irritably, her head pounding. The nerve of the girl. Elsa was certain Anna had to be a few years younger than she and justified calling her a girl that way. Even if she looked nothing like a girl. 

She didn’t reply. Anna lifted the cover and the smell of eggs and sausage filled the room. She slid her gaze to Elsa, expressionless. "You should eat."

Her stomach roiled unpleasantly. She'd been ill after waking up. "I'm not hungry."

"You should eat," Anna repeated, undeterred. "Quickly, unless you like your food cold. I'll build the fire."

The room was colder than usual and the fire was nothing but a feeble flame. Elsa began to eat, trying to not watch Anna out of the corner of her eye. To her surprise, she cleaned her plate quickly, her appetite cooperating for once. She turned to watch the maid build the fire.

"You're not a maid, are you?" She wasn’t sure why she’d asked that, but Anna couldn’t just be a servant. She was hiding her own secrets. 

“What makes you say that?” They both knew it was a delaying tactic. 

“Well, you’re awfully bossy for one,” Elsa muttered under her breath, too low for Anna to hear. 

But Anna had and was smirking at her. Ears like a bat. But Anna didn't answer at first. When she was done with the fire, she stood and patted the soot off her skirts, then pulled up a chair to sit facing Elsa. Her face revealed nothing, her posture straight, her hands clasped in her lap.

"Then I need to ask you this first: do you truly want to leave here?"

She flinched. "I don't know. I'm afraid of hurting someone." She twisted her hands in her lap, staring down at them. "I'm a monster."

Something flickered over Anna's face, but she remained silent.

“You’re asking me to reconsider everything I’ve ever been told. I have no way to know what’s true. Also, you’re a maid,” Elsa added dryly. “Hans may be a liar, but you can just as easily be one as well.”

Anna didn’t answer immediately, weighing her options. As Elsa waited, she found herself studying Anna’s face closer, as though she could find truth there. She had a heart-shaped face and she wasn’t given to smiles. Her cheekbones were somewhat prominent, as though the skin was pulled taut over them. Her complexion was an almost powdery white, pale as her own. A small, straight nose, the tip slightly upturned, and thin lips, though that might have been from the chill. It never bothered Elsa, but she thought most people would have been shivering if they were in the palace uniform dress as Anna was. 

Elsa found her to be very pretty. The thought came unbidden, but it was true. Anna, for all her solemn air and her serious eyes and rare smiles, she was a very pretty girl. 

"You're right to doubt me," Anna finally said, interrupting Elsa’s thoughts.. "And yes, I am really a maid, but I'm also here because I want to take you out of the palace."

She sucked in a breath. "Why?" She asked, though she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"Because I want you to see what Arendelle has become. What I said last night is true. I just wasn't sure if you knew. If you were a part of what's happened," Anna added. "Arendelle has suffered since the prince regent came to power."

She couldn’t breathe. It was like someone had suddenly pressed their hand over her nose and mouth, the air becoming thin and vertigo overtook her. Anna blurred before her and she had to squeeze her eyes shut as her lungs burned. _This is what failure feels like._

"Elsa." Anna's voice was coming from far away. Or maybe underwater. It was difficult to focus on. “Elsa, listen to me.” 

She was eight years old again, cold and numb and nothing made sense. She didn’t kill anybody. She couldn’t remember anything, but she hadn’t killed anybody, she would never hurt anyone, not her mother and father, not Anna. How could she have hurt anyone if she couldn’t even remember it?

There was a burning, stinging sensation on her cheek. Then Anna’s face was titling to and fro before her and she had to remember that this Anna wasn’t her sister. This was Anna the maid, the one who came to her and coldly accused her of how she’d hid herself away and let the world go to hell. She gasped feebly for breath. 

“Snap out of it,” Anna barked, scowling. She’d been shaking Elsa by the shoulders and looked irritated about it. And maybe a little worried, but Elsa couldn’t tell. “What is wrong with you? I know it’s hard to take in, but sitting here while Arendelle is sucked dry is hardly useful.”

The queen touched her warm cheek. Her gaze focused on the maid, who was standing before her, one hand on her shoulder and the other raised between them. Anna had slapped her. 

“What would you have me do?” She asked dully. “Even if you got me out of here, even if I saw evidence of what Hans has done, what can I do?”

“You’re the queen of Arendelle,” Anna replied. Her expression softened. “You can change this. It doesn’t have to stay this way. I can get you out and to a safe place.”

Elsa stared at Anna incredulously. “You’ll be executed if you’re caught.” 

“I can get you out,” Anna said with such certainty that Elsa believed her. “I have someone who can help me.”

Elsa stared at her. There were other people like Anna? “Who?”

Anna shook her head. “I can’t tell you. Not yet,” she said, seeing Elsa’s disappointed look. 

“Once we’re out of the city, I’ll… I’ll tell you everything.” Anna looked hesitant. She brushed her hand over Elsa’s cheek. “I’m sorry for hitting you. You went off somewhere and I couldn’t get you back.”

The blonde flushed at the touch. “You must think I’m so weak. Some queen I make,” she muttered self-deprecatingly. 

The maid shook her head again, but there was a fierce confidence there that Elsa felt deeply unworthy of.. “We’ll see.”

\---

Anna said she had to make preparations and they would leave then. "A few days," she'd promised.

So, Elsa waited alone with her thoughts. She wondered what the outside world was like, wondered if she'd ruined it for good, and if the damage could be undone. She wondered how Arendelle could ever forgive her, if she was even deserving of forgiveness. She didn't know if Anna knew the answer to any of these, so she bit her lip and didn't tell her. At least, not until Anna confronted her about it.

"You're not sleeping," the maid said flatly, disapproval evident. "You've been eating better, but I don't want you half dead when we make it out of here."

Only Anna could make a caring gesture sound like an accusation. Elsa made a face.

"I'll be fine," she said.

"I'll believe that when you don't look like a gentle breeze will send you flying," Anna said. She prodded at the fire.

"You don't have to do that, you know," Elsa said, wanting to change the subject. "The cold doesn't bother me. Unless you're cold," she added hastily, forgetting herself. Anna wasn't a servant who escaped her room as soon as she was able. She stayed long enough to hold actual conversations, an activity Elsa had forgotten how to conduct in her isolation.

The maid glanced at Elsa over her shoulder, seeing through Elsa's ploy, but allowed it. 

"All right.” She patted her hands off and sat down on the same chair from the other night. “You’ve been brooding as well.”

“Brooding does tend to keep people up at night,” Elsa said dryly. 

Anna leaned in and tapped the tip of her finger between Elsa’s brows. “You get a wrinkle here when you’re thinking hard on something,” she said. 

Her hand flew up to her face. “I do?” 

She nodded. “Yes, just like--” She froze, the words dying on her lips. 

Elsa blinked in confusion. “Yes?” She prompted. 

Anna looked away abruptly and took a steadying breath. “Sorry,” she muttered. “You just… reminded me of someone.” She didn’t elaborate. 

She knew she shouldn’t press, not when Anna clearly didn’t want to talk about it. “Someone important?”

Anna’s eyes flashed a warning. “It’s none of your concern.” 

The rebuke stung. And Elsa had not been hurt like that in a very, very long time. 

Anna’s lips pressed tight together as she struggled for the right words. “It’s not your fault. It’s…personal.” _And you have no right to that,_ was what hung between them. 

That was the first time Elsa felt the burn of jealousy. Whoever it was that made Anna so defensive was important to her. Her presence had lulled Elsa into thinking that… well. Anna had a life outside of these walls and she did not and she didn’t have any right to it. 

A stiff awkward silence settled. 

Anna finally sighed. “I’m sorry. I really will tell you everything once we’re out of Arendelle.”

“When we leave, then?” Elsa said sardonically, still smarting from the previous blow. “It seems like I can’t know a great many things until you get me out of here.”

Anna looked at her sharply. Elsa saw the flare of temper in her eyes and flinched. She wasn’t used to seeing outright anger directed at her. 

“Do you think I’m joking when I say I can’t tell you everything?” Anna hissed, her voice rough. “We’re not safe here and we won’t be safe until we’re leagues from Arendelle.”

Elsa’s heart skipped a beat. Thinking about leaving still made her feel equal parts of excitement and dread. “Where exactly will we be safe, then? Where do you intend to take me? Are we leaving the kingdom entirely? Don’t tell me you can’t tell me even that,” the queen snapped. 

“Keep your voice down,” Anna said, glancing at the door. “And no, I can’t tell you that either. Not now.”

“Then when?” She did speak lower, but was no calmer. “Shouldn’t I be privy to my own escape plan?”

Anna gave her an exasperated look that Elsa immediately wanted to slap off. “My escape plan,” she said pointedly. “You are the goal, but I’m going to be the one making out of here with you.”

Elsa glared at her, her own temper rising. The nerve of this girl. She tried for diplomacy instead, foreign as it was. “I’m not an object, I’m a person. And if I’m leaving here, I need to know your plan. I have a right to this.”

Anna actually _growled_ at her. “I’ll tell you when you need to know.”

“And I need to know now!” 

“No, you _want_ to know now!” The maid scowled, looking more irritated by the second. “It’s not safe, there are ears everywhere.”

“What, there’s a spy posted outside my door now?” The older woman retorted. “Even I know most of the servants stay away from this part of the palace.”

By the look on Anna’s face, Elsa knew she’d scored a point. She was about to say more when Anna cut her off. 

“It’s not that.” She jabbed a finger at Elsa. “It’s if the plan fails.” The admission appeared to cost Anna. She glared at Elsa like failure was going to be her fault now that she’d made her admit the possibility out loud. 

A shiver went down her spine, like something multi-legged just crawled down. 

“I’m certain that it will work.” Anna folded her arms over her chest and crossed her legs, her face settling into serious, though still annoyed, lines. “But nothing is ever _really_ certain. Anything could happen and even the slightest slip can make it all collapse around our ears. And if we fail horribly, it’s best that you don’t know anything. So they can’t pry anything out of you.”

 _We._ Anna said “we.” Like they were a team. 

She really ought to have been concerned about the repercussions if they didn't escape, but Elsa felt more giddy at the thought of doing something with Anna.

"I could help--"

"No." Anna cut her off at once. "Absolutely not."

"Why not? If it could improve our chances, make that possibility of failure smaller, why shouldn't I help?" Elsa pleaded. She didn’t want to be that useless girl who stayed in her room while everybody else broke themselves to serve her. 

"Did you not hear me at all?" Anna looked far more outraged than she should have been. "If we're caught--"

"But if my helping prevents that--"

"It'll be more than just my head. I don't even know what they'd do to you." Anna's composure fractured, her blue eyes blazing like Elsa had never seen before. Granted, she hadn't known Anna for very long, but these past few days had been trying and Anna was the only one to witness it, so it felt very long indeed. "Elsa, they could _kill_ you if they thought they had to."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "I doubt that. They could have killed me before. I'd certainly deserve it." The corner of her mouth quirked into a bitter smile. "Killing your family is rather frowned upon unless it's to start a civil war."

Anna’s cheeks colored in fury, her hands clenching on her knees. "Goddamn it, Elsa, you didn't kill anyone. Nobody actually knows you did."

The room went deadly silent. She couldn't even feel her heart beat for a few alarming seconds. "What?" She managed through numb lips.

Anna stormed off her seat and paced the room, shaking with anger. "It's a fucking filthy rumor that got passed around! Half the shit that people think is truth is made up," she spat. "They've got you trapped in this cage like a fucking animal over a _lie_."

The room spun. She had to clutch at the arms of her chair to stay upright. Her world was changing again, turning upside down and leaving her to scramble after it. She wasn't sure she'd ever catch up. "They better pay you your weight in gold, Anna," Elsa heard herself say very distantly. "You're doing a very good job of turning me into a madwoman."

But Anna didn't smile at her weak joke. Her face was suddenly close to hers, even if her head was swimming.

"Don't you dare faint." Anna barked it, but her expression was worried. "Are you going to be ill?"

"Yes. No. Probably not," Elsa added. "Good thing I didn't have breakfast," she said sardonically, her belly threatening mutiny.

"I'm going to carry you to the bed," Anna told her. She didn't wait for Elsa to respond, simply bending down to slide one arm under the older woman's knees and the other behind her spine. As Anna lifted, Elsa let out an embarrassing squeak and clung to Anna's shoulders.

"Maids don't carry their mistresses," she said inanely. Both of them frowned. Elsa had no idea why she'd said that. It was probably the stupidest thing she'd ever uttered in her life given the enormity of what just happened.

"Had many maids, have you?" Anna deadpanned.

Elsa reddened, but kept her mouth shut. 

Anna hefted her with shocking ease. "Good god, you need to put on some weight. You hardly weigh anything." She deposited her on the bed gently. "How do you feel?"

"You've turned every preconceived notion I've ever had inside out, how do you think I feel?"

"No need to be impertinent about it," she said.

Elsa gaped at her in outrage. " _Impertinent_?" Like she was a _child_.

Anna ignored her. She walked to the foot of the bed, lifted Elsa's skirt up and seized a slim ankle.

The queen yelped indignantly. "What are you doing?!"

The maid hardly glanced at her. "Taking your shoes off." She did exactly that, letting the slippers fall to the floor. "You should sleep. We can talk later.” Then Anna did something that made Elsa go rigid with shock. Her warm hands skimmed up her calf, past her knee (she had no idea she was ticklish there, not at all) to circle her thigh. Her jaw went slack. 

Anna glanced at her face, caught Elsa’s expression, and went wide-eyed. And then she… _laughed_. It was a rich, melodic sound, full of genuine mirth, and it simply burst out of her. And the way her face completely changed, from the serious expression she normally wore to something so bright and joyful, it took Elsa’s breath away. Or it would have if she weren’t trying to keep herself from shrieking at the sheer impropriety and cavalier manner with which Anna was touching her. 

“You--what are you-- _Anna_ , how dare you--” Elsa stuttered, heat flooding her cheeks as she tried to drag herself further up the bed away from the younger woman. Anna had the good sense to let go, at least. 

But Anna kept laughing until there were nearly tears in her eyes, her hand covering her mouth as she tried to contain herself. And Elsa kept glaring, her jaw clenched. She’d managed to sit up against the headboard, her knees folded up to her chest and arms tightly wrapping her dress about her legs protectively. 

“What. Is. Wrong. With. You!” Elsa hissed, incensed. She was certain the sheer mortification would sear this particular event into her brain. She could practically still feel Anna’s hands ghosting on her skin. It was so… so… _intimate._ A shiver went down her spine. _Good grief._

“Your, your face!” Anna gasped, wiping at her eyes. “Oh, good god. I think you’ve discovered new shades for Titian to aspire to.”

“Shut up!” Elsa snapped, for lack of anything more clever to say. “You do not simply lunge for people’s legs--”

“I didn’t lunge!” Anna chortled. 

“And then dive under their skirts!” Elsa nearly screeched the last word. “Were you raised in a _barn_?!”

Anna laughed again, not in the least offended. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone’s accused me of that. Forgive me,” she said unconvincingly after regaining some semblance of control. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.” She got on all fours on the bed like a cat and slowly crawled toward Elsa. 

The queen made an alarmed noise and clutched her legs tighter. “Stop that! Stay where you are!”

“Oh, relax,” Anna chuckled. She stopped a decorous distance from Elsa and sat back on her heels. “I wasn’t going to molest you. I was just trying to get your stockings off.” 

“You still shouldn’t just shove your hand up my dress!” 

“I’ll ask for permission next time,” Anna acquiesced, attempting to look contrite. It might have worked if she didn’t look like she was on the verge of another giggle fit. 

“And I don’t need your help taking my own stockings off!”

“But it’s the maid’s duty to do that,” Anna said patiently. “I’m supposed to help you undress.”

“You weren’t here last night! Or the other nights!”

“Well, you go to bed at the oddest hours and you never ring for me when you’re about to sleep,” she pointed out, helpfully. 

It was too much. She could only take so many profound revelations and assaults on her dignity. So she lifted her chin, looked down her nose and said in her haughtiest voice, "Go away."

Anna smirked at her, undaunted. "Your stockings are still on."

“I can take them off myself!” Her delivery was more shrill than she’d have liked, but it got the point across. 

“Elsa…” Anna tried to wipe all traces of amusement from her face and adopt a more… earnest expression. It was difficult; her lips trembled from the effort to swallow laughter down, but she pressed them together to steady herself. “You need to rest. I don’t think you’ve gotten a proper night’s worth of sleep for the past three days.”

“I’m fine,” she said automatically. “I’ll take a nap once you leave me in peace.” 

To her surprise, the maid complied, climbing off the bed and straightened her dress. “Ring for me once you get up,” she said, her expression grave. “I’m guessing you’ll want to talk more about what I said.”

Somber again, the queen inclined her head. “I will.”

\---


End file.
